“Interpreting Teens”

Ever find yourself in a position where you are left completely speechless by a verbal response from a teenager?  I am not talking about a vulgar or obscene response.  I mean a response that left you wondering, “what in the world did they just say?”  

I have been.  Several times.  So many times that I thought I would provide a list of my “interpretation” of the head-scratching teen responses.

“I Know”:  1 You don’t have to say that again.  2 You are right, but I don’t need you to point that out.  [One of my favorites.  I wrote a whole blog about it.]

“My Bad”:  1 I intentionally made that mistake but I will appease you by pretending to take responsibility for my lapse in judgement.  2 I’m sorry, but… not really.

“FAther”:  1 I am showing respect, in a sarcastic sort of way.  2  You seriously embarrass me.

“Blah, Blah, Blah”:  1 I’m done listening.  2 You should stop talking.

“Seriously”:  1 You are an idiot.  2 Act your age.  [Heard when a parent completely irks the teen by actions.  Can sometimes be combined with “FAther”. ]

“Really”:  1 Was I supposed to know that was wrong?  2 I’ve heard you say that before, I think.

“Any Hoo”:  1 I’m an idiot.  2 I’m going to change the topic.  [Another favorite that always seems to be offered at the precise moment the parent is presenting a critical teaching point.]

“I don’t know”:  1 I really do know the answer, but you’re not going to like it.  2 I have a lack of judgement. [This interpretation follow a “why did you do that?” type of question.]

Sometimes good communication with teens starts with a clear interpretation of what they are REALLY saying.  In full disclosure, most of these expressions were collected from teenagers including, but not limited to, my own teens.  

If you have others, I would love to hear them.

Ephesians 4:29  “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

- What is your plan -

“Doritos are better than Cracker Jacks”

A person never plans to lose things.  It just seems to happen.  Sometimes the things you lose show up in the strangest places.

Our youngest teen recently received his learner’s permit (more about that in a future post).  He actually has something in his billfold that requires him to have it with him when he leaves the house, his learner’s permit. He is a kid that never loses anything, but he seems to be forgetting where he left his billfold more and more.  Maybe it is a billfold problem. [see previous blog on that topic]  He normally finds it quickly, in a usual place.  This was NOT the case with a set of his brother’s prescription swim goggles.

We were on vacation at the beach several years ago when our oldest teen’s prescription goggles went missing.  He would not go swimming in the ocean or the pool without his goggles.  He could not see without them.  So it was our number one priority to find them.  We looked everywhere.  

The beach bag.  Nope.  

The towels.  Nope.  

Pockets. Nope.  

The hotel room.  Nope.  

Housekeeping.  Nope.

Security.  Nope.

Lost and Found.  Nope

We searched through everything.  No luck.

One of our favorite snacks at the beach is Cool Ranch Doritos.  We would always take a couple of bags with us.  Later, during this vacation, we were back in our room and our younger teen was hungry so he grabbed the Doritos.

What did we find?  Yep, you got it.  His brother’s goggles.  How is the world did they get in there?  No one thought to look in there!

See, I told you, Doritos are better than Cracker Jacks.  You’ve never pulled prescription swim goggles out of a Cracker Jacks box.

Matthew 7:7  “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

- What is your plan? -

“It doesn't need to make sense to you.”

One of the hardest things for a parent to do is allow their teenager to make a mistake.  We want to protect them.  We don’t want them to make the same mistakes we made.  (Actually, we expect them to be learning at a much faster rate than they are demonstrating, and thus, not making repeated mistakes.)  I am not talking about big, life-threatening mistakes.  I mean the relatively small mistakes associated with everyday activities.

The train wreck is coming; it is as clear as Aruban waters.  There is no way to make him see the eventual outcome.  He continues to march down the same path…

“I told you your mother is always right.  Why are you arguing with her?”

“Because I know she is wrong and I must correct her.”  [Choo, Choo]

“You need to finish your laundry and do your journal.”

“Ok.  I am going to work on my foreign language.”  [Bright Light, Bright Light]

“Maybe you should work ahead on school work since you have time right now.”

“That’s not a bad idea.”

“Are you going to go and do the work now?”

“Nah. I’ll do it later.”  [Clack, Clack, Clack]

“Why are you carrying one little bottle at a time to the table?”

“It takes more energy for me to carry more than one at a time.”

“But you have a bag with you.  Why not put them in your bag and make one trip instead of 4?”

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

“It doesn't need to make sense to you.  It just needs to make sense to me.”

And there it is.  No truer words were ever said from a full-of-wisdom teenager.  So many of their choices only need to make sense to them.  What we see as mistakes, they see as independence, assuming responsibility, decision making, and problem solving.  It really doesn’t matter to them that the outcome will be a front row seat on the cattle guard of a large locomotive.  To them, making a mistake is not a negative.  They only want to have that brief moment of control.

We should let them make more mistakes.  And remember, “It doesn't need to make sense to you.”

Proverbs 12:15  “The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.”

- What is your plan? -