The Alarm Clock Paradox

I will start with an apology to my three readers… I am sorry for the absence.  I had shoulder surgery in October and lost my writing rhythm.  Rest assured, I am back and I plan to continue the blog as long as you three remain entertained.  Onto the Alarm Clock Paradox.

I would like to back a bold statement… The worst time of the day for decision making is during the moments immediately following the rude blast of the alarm clock.  Sure, you are the one who has to go to work or school and you were the one that selected the wake up time, but that doesn’t mean you are going to make a good decision the second you hear the sleep shattering BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.

A typical morning in our house:

The alarm is set for 5:30 am.  [This is totally reasonable since the family member has to leave the house at 11:30 am for an appointment. What??? Might be a different kind of planning problem, but I digress]

The alarm starts its progressive crescendo for BEEPS at 5:30.  The first moment of bad decision making is to do nothing and let the BEEPS continue their upward spiral.  After what seems like 35 minutes, those BEEPS stop with the tap of the snooze button.

But wait, there is a second alarm horn wailing in the same room.  If one poorly set alarm is good, then two is better and doubles the opportunity to make bad decisions.  This second alarm is somehow silenced.  Apparently, this second alarm is a complete surprise to this family member.  

After 9 minutes, as you would guess, the cycle repeats prompting another round of bad decisions.  This time, the magnitude of the bad decision increases.  The alarms are turned off completely, and the comfort of the warm bed beckons.  The warm bed seeker is completely unaware that the entire household is awake and is looking to seek revenge for their interrupted slumber.

With no alarms to interrupt the peaceful rest, our slumberjack doesn’t wake up until 11:05 am with a loud “Oh, crap!”  He’s not sure if he is going to make it out the door on time and there are no sympathetic family members who are willing to assist.  Oh, and did I mention it is a Saturday!

At some time or another, I think we’ve all made bad decisions immediately following the alarm's first clang.  My strong recommendation is never ever put yourself in a position to negotiate with your alarm clock.  It will almost always deceive you, over and over again.

Proverbs 26:11 “As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.”

-- What is Your Plan?--

"What Did He Say?"

Successful plan execution normally requires some form of motivation.  In my work environment, motivation is often implied once there is clear communication of task and purpose.  Recently, we chose to use a less direct, but more effective approach with our teens. 

One overwhelming task for teens is putting their clothes away once they are clean, folded and in the clothes basket.  It really doesn’t seem that hard.  Take the clothes out of the basket, open the drawer, set them down in the drawer.  Task complete. Sounds like a solid plan.  Obviously, the missing component is motivation.

Based on our teen’s response, we hit a home run on the right motivation approach.

“What are these?”  “Oh, gross.”  “I don’t want those touching my clothes.”  “Nobody needs to see those”  [at this point we are laughing so hard our sides hurt]  “It is not funny.”  “Get them out of here so I can finish with my clothes”

My son was in full freak out mode.

The “these”, “those”, and “them” above were a pair of my wife’s “delicates”. Honestly, we fell into this motivation technique by accident.  We did not put them in with his clothes - static cling did.  Since it was so effective, we decided to pile on.

“If you let your clothes linger in the basket for more than a couple of days, you might find more of the same.  Do you want that?”  “NO WAY!”

He needed a little more motivation when the next basket came up because his clothes still lay folded in his basket.  His surprise this time was a pair of my unmentionables.  He was even more offended and he started yelling, “Father [he calls me that when he is getting serious], what have you done?”  “I’m not touching them.”  “Get them out of here.”

I told him I had no idea what he was talking about.  I didn’t place anything in his basket….his mother did.  “What?”  “You are the man of the house.  You need to get your wife under control.”

What did he just say?  Yeah, right.  My relationship with my wife is based on my ability to “control” her.  Not touching that one.  You can only imagine the new set of life lessons he received that night.

Teens are the only form of the human species that can take us from a motivation event to a discussion of control.  Go figure.

Proverbs 21:23  “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue, keeps himself out of trouble.”

- What is your plan? -

“What to Call a “Dog”?”

I mentioned in my first blog that I felt like I had enough content to fill years and years of blog space. After 12 blog posts, I still feel the same way, but I’ve also discovered another interesting factoid.  I am really good with blog titles.

I am not bragging.  Several people have complimented my titles.   

“I love your titles.”

“Your titles are so creative.”

“Your titles always make me laugh.”

“I can’t wait for your next blog because your titles are genius.”

Ok.  Maybe I stretched the truth on these compliments just a little.  I don’t get many accolades on my writing.  Wait a minute.  They are not actually complimenting my writing, just the titles.

Now that I think about it, maybe what they are really saying is:

“Your content is really, really bad.”

“Please write something that compels me to read further than the title.”

“Take a creative writing class.  Please.”

Sounds like a cry for mercy.  Well, at least I have the keen ability to give a “Dog” of a post a cool name.  I can live with that.

James 4:6  “But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

- What is your plan -

"The Problem Is..."

My wife (“M”) and I are the proud parents of a 17 year old young man (“S”).  He is at the age of peak wisdom.  He can immediately identify “The Problem” when things aren’t going according to his plan.

The Background:  “S” is homeschooled and is assigned his work for the week.  He is expected to be an independent worker and understands the concept of natural consequences (remember: he is at the age of peak wisdom).  If he doesn't get his work done, the work rolls over to the next week.  If this continues long enough, he won't graduate on time.  And so on...

The Dialog:

S -  “Good Morning.”

M - “It is not morning when the time is 11:50 am.  I thought you were starting your school work earlier today.  What happened?”

S- “Well, you see, from my view….”

M- “Why are you still in your pajamas?”

S- “I knew it was late so I thought…”

M- “What time did you go to bed last night?”

S- “11:00 pm, no wait 3:00 am but that is not the problem.  The problem is….”

I would submit to you that identification of “The Problem” is the first, and most important, imperative in proper planning.  In the exaggerated (this never happens) example above, our wise-beyond-his years 17 year old was on a path to identify the wrong problem.  His plan, if he got that far, would have missed the mark.  Clearly, “The Problem” for him is loving parents who hold him accountable.

In all fairness to my son, accurate problem identification is a significant issue for most people and groups.  It is nearly always listed as the first step in any problem solving model, yet it is the most frequently neglected step.  I see it every day in my professional life.  A good plan must start with properly identifying “The Problem”.

“If I had an hour to solve a problem I'd spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.”  Albert Einstein

Proverbs 14:8  “The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception.”

- What is your plan? -