“One of the Greatest Minds”

My wife and I are truly blessed to be in such close proximity to “one of the greatest minds of the 21st Century”.  What an honor.

Budgeting is a great planning tool.  Having a monthly family financial budget means having a plan for where your money is going to go in the next month.   

Having a home improvement project budget means knowing how much you can spend before you cut the first board or, in my case, it gives my wife an estimate before she applies the man-pi factor (3.14 x his estimate).  

Having a time budget means fencing blocks of time for yourself to accomplish all your tasks for a day.  This application of budgeting was especially useful during a recent “planning session” with our oldest son.  

He thought it would be a very good idea to set a daily budget of time so he could get his work done and, more importantly, get us off his back.  We were very proud when he set up his time budget all on his own and it was very reasonable.  30 minutes for a meal, 4 hours for school work, 30 minutes to stretch, 20 minutes to get ready in the morning, …… and so on.  It actually showed that he was going to be up and out of bed by 8:30.  Not bad considering this is one of our “sleepy teens”.

As my wife was reviewing his time budget with him, it was apparent that he was also proud of himself for putting it together.  It really was a nice plan.  When she complimented him on his time budgeting abilities he returned a confident response: “Well, when you’re dealing with one of the greatest minds of the 21st Century, you have to keep organized”.

Oh, yes.  He actually said it.  Modest is this one.  I really wish he would break out of his shell.

Proverbs 26:12 “Do you see a person wise in their own eyes?  There is more hope for a fool than for them.”

- What is your plan? -

“It doesn't need to make sense to you.”

One of the hardest things for a parent to do is allow their teenager to make a mistake.  We want to protect them.  We don’t want them to make the same mistakes we made.  (Actually, we expect them to be learning at a much faster rate than they are demonstrating, and thus, not making repeated mistakes.)  I am not talking about big, life-threatening mistakes.  I mean the relatively small mistakes associated with everyday activities.

The train wreck is coming; it is as clear as Aruban waters.  There is no way to make him see the eventual outcome.  He continues to march down the same path…

“I told you your mother is always right.  Why are you arguing with her?”

“Because I know she is wrong and I must correct her.”  [Choo, Choo]

“You need to finish your laundry and do your journal.”

“Ok.  I am going to work on my foreign language.”  [Bright Light, Bright Light]

“Maybe you should work ahead on school work since you have time right now.”

“That’s not a bad idea.”

“Are you going to go and do the work now?”

“Nah. I’ll do it later.”  [Clack, Clack, Clack]

“Why are you carrying one little bottle at a time to the table?”

“It takes more energy for me to carry more than one at a time.”

“But you have a bag with you.  Why not put them in your bag and make one trip instead of 4?”

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

“It doesn't need to make sense to you.  It just needs to make sense to me.”

And there it is.  No truer words were ever said from a full-of-wisdom teenager.  So many of their choices only need to make sense to them.  What we see as mistakes, they see as independence, assuming responsibility, decision making, and problem solving.  It really doesn’t matter to them that the outcome will be a front row seat on the cattle guard of a large locomotive.  To them, making a mistake is not a negative.  They only want to have that brief moment of control.

We should let them make more mistakes.  And remember, “It doesn't need to make sense to you.”

Proverbs 12:15  “The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.”

- What is your plan? -

"The Problem Is..."

My wife (“M”) and I are the proud parents of a 17 year old young man (“S”).  He is at the age of peak wisdom.  He can immediately identify “The Problem” when things aren’t going according to his plan.

The Background:  “S” is homeschooled and is assigned his work for the week.  He is expected to be an independent worker and understands the concept of natural consequences (remember: he is at the age of peak wisdom).  If he doesn't get his work done, the work rolls over to the next week.  If this continues long enough, he won't graduate on time.  And so on...

The Dialog:

S -  “Good Morning.”

M - “It is not morning when the time is 11:50 am.  I thought you were starting your school work earlier today.  What happened?”

S- “Well, you see, from my view….”

M- “Why are you still in your pajamas?”

S- “I knew it was late so I thought…”

M- “What time did you go to bed last night?”

S- “11:00 pm, no wait 3:00 am but that is not the problem.  The problem is….”

I would submit to you that identification of “The Problem” is the first, and most important, imperative in proper planning.  In the exaggerated (this never happens) example above, our wise-beyond-his years 17 year old was on a path to identify the wrong problem.  His plan, if he got that far, would have missed the mark.  Clearly, “The Problem” for him is loving parents who hold him accountable.

In all fairness to my son, accurate problem identification is a significant issue for most people and groups.  It is nearly always listed as the first step in any problem solving model, yet it is the most frequently neglected step.  I see it every day in my professional life.  A good plan must start with properly identifying “The Problem”.

“If I had an hour to solve a problem I'd spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.”  Albert Einstein

Proverbs 14:8  “The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception.”

- What is your plan? -