Service: A One Way Street?

We all enjoy those occasions when someone does a little extra for us.  I appreciate it when my wife brings me a glass of water from the kitchen just because she was getting one for herself and she knew I would like one too.

Most of us even look for opportunities to bless others with random acts of kindness.  If I am making popcorn for movie night, I will make enough for the rest of family without any of them having to ask.

We also know a few “characters” in our lives who don’t fit either of these models.  They don’t look for opportunities to serve others, and they try to manipulate the situation to compel others to serve them.  Service to a “character” is a One Way Street.  “Characters” often employ an indirect approach to get what they want.

“What are you making for breakfast? … Ok, I guess that will work for me too.”

“What are you making yourself for lunch?... That sounds good.  I will have some of that too.”

“Would you like some yogurt? … Bring me one too since you’re getting yourself one.”

“No I don’t want that but, you can bring me some water since you are already by the fridge.”

These sound a lot like the Jeff Foxworthy line “Sensuous was up, get me a….”

We are slowly working on a cure for our “character”.  Consider this antidote.

“What are you making yourself for lunch?”

“I am making soup.  What are you making for yourself?”

“Oh, that’s not the answer I was looking for.”

“I guess you should have asked a better question.”

Do you recognize a “character” in your life?  I don’t believe these “characters” are intentionally rude or inconsiderate.  They may simply lack the proper planning tools to consider service to others as part of their walk through life.

Mark 10:45:  “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

• What is Your Plan? -

Post Script: Experienced another behavior modification following my "characters'" review of this blog prior to posting. Service is turning into a two way street.

"What Did He Say?"

Successful plan execution normally requires some form of motivation.  In my work environment, motivation is often implied once there is clear communication of task and purpose.  Recently, we chose to use a less direct, but more effective approach with our teens. 

One overwhelming task for teens is putting their clothes away once they are clean, folded and in the clothes basket.  It really doesn’t seem that hard.  Take the clothes out of the basket, open the drawer, set them down in the drawer.  Task complete. Sounds like a solid plan.  Obviously, the missing component is motivation.

Based on our teen’s response, we hit a home run on the right motivation approach.

“What are these?”  “Oh, gross.”  “I don’t want those touching my clothes.”  “Nobody needs to see those”  [at this point we are laughing so hard our sides hurt]  “It is not funny.”  “Get them out of here so I can finish with my clothes”

My son was in full freak out mode.

The “these”, “those”, and “them” above were a pair of my wife’s “delicates”. Honestly, we fell into this motivation technique by accident.  We did not put them in with his clothes - static cling did.  Since it was so effective, we decided to pile on.

“If you let your clothes linger in the basket for more than a couple of days, you might find more of the same.  Do you want that?”  “NO WAY!”

He needed a little more motivation when the next basket came up because his clothes still lay folded in his basket.  His surprise this time was a pair of my unmentionables.  He was even more offended and he started yelling, “Father [he calls me that when he is getting serious], what have you done?”  “I’m not touching them.”  “Get them out of here.”

I told him I had no idea what he was talking about.  I didn’t place anything in his basket….his mother did.  “What?”  “You are the man of the house.  You need to get your wife under control.”

What did he just say?  Yeah, right.  My relationship with my wife is based on my ability to “control” her.  Not touching that one.  You can only imagine the new set of life lessons he received that night.

Teens are the only form of the human species that can take us from a motivation event to a discussion of control.  Go figure.

Proverbs 21:23  “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue, keeps himself out of trouble.”

- What is your plan? -