My “Perfect” Plan

Have you ever had a plan so tightly wrapped that you felt like success was a foregone conclusion?  I mean you knew, with 100% certainty, that everything would execute exactly according to the plan.  There were no holes in the plan and no room for deviations.  A perfect plan… the ever-illusive utopia.

Several years ago, my wife and I were set to embark on another military move.  We were moving from Fort Rucker, AL, and heading to Monterey, CA, for graduate school.  [I know, tough duty]

Our “perfect” plan:

Movers head out with all of our worldly possessions on a Thursday.  We were to expect delivery no earlier than 12 days later.  No need for storage.  We were doing a door-to-door move.  Everyone said a door-to-door move was a myth; it’s impossible.  We’ll show them.  Our plan is fool-proof.

We leave Fort Rucker on Friday and head to Atlanta to send the boys back to Minnesota.  They were staying with grandparents so they wouldn’t have to make the long drive.  Hurray for grandparents!

We leave Atlanta on Monday after Mary flew back from Minneapolis, complete with dropping off the boys.  Off we go on our relaxing 2,400 mile drive to Monterey.  The “perfect” plan included driving an average of 550 for 4 days and then an easy 200 miles the last day.

Once we got to Monterey on Friday, after our easy 200 miles, we would drop the dog off at the kennel and check into the Guest House.  Making the trip with the dog in the car would add some complexity but we could handle it.  We had a “perfect” plan for that too.

We would sign for our military housing on Friday and explore the city over the weekend.  Monday would come and we would be completely ready for the delivery team; ready with donuts, pizza and a few Cokes.

Oh how I love a “perfect” plan!

What really happened:  Everything was going great right up until day 3 (Thursday) of our drive.

While at a rest stop in Arizona, we get a call from the military transportation office.  The movers, apparently, are supermen and managed to be 3 days ahead of schedule.  What moving company has ever done that!  

They were going to deliver our household goods on Friday morning, not the next Monday, like we had planned.  Ok.  Only a slight change to the plan…  Then the next bit of good news.  If we were not at our house ready for the delivery at 9:00 am, they would put our stuff in storage for 30 days.

Noooooo…. don’t you understand, we are doing a door-to-door.  We have a perfect plan.  This is not happening.

Ok.  Wait.  We can do this.  

We will skip our last overnight stop and drive straight to Monterey.  We can do the remaining 800 miles in a day.  

We don’t have a place to stay!  We will call for new hotel reservations.  The Dog!  The hotel needs to take pets.  [Not an easy  find]  We have a reservation at a hotel on the beach.  Too bad we can’t enjoy it.  [another side note..we got lost getting to the hotel.  No GPS.]

Guess we can cancel the kennel reservation. [as a side note:  Arizona and southern California rest areas don’t have any grass.  The dog won’t relieve himself unless he has grass.  We found out that he has a very large bladder capacity.]

The housing office!  They don’t open until 9:00 am!  I called them and told them our dilemma.  They agreed to meet me so I could sign for the keys early Friday morning, while my better-half waits for the truck.

WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR PERFECT AND RELAXING PLAN?  Gone.

Everything turned out ok in the end, as it almost always does, despite our melodramatic panic.  We even completed the elusive door-to-door move.

The worst part of the entire change episode was totally self-induced.  Yours truly decided it would be a good idea, and quicker, to take the scenic route (HWY 1) up the California coast to cover our last 100 miles.  The last 100 miles of a 800 mile day.  It was not quicker and not very scenic with the sun on the horizon and in your eyes for 100 miles.  Not to mention it made my better-half sick. [Never a good thing.]

When will we learn to stop chasing the “Perfect” plan.

Romans 8:28  “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

- What is your plan? -

“Interpreting Teens”

Ever find yourself in a position where you are left completely speechless by a verbal response from a teenager?  I am not talking about a vulgar or obscene response.  I mean a response that left you wondering, “what in the world did they just say?”  

I have been.  Several times.  So many times that I thought I would provide a list of my “interpretation” of the head-scratching teen responses.

“I Know”:  1 You don’t have to say that again.  2 You are right, but I don’t need you to point that out.  [One of my favorites.  I wrote a whole blog about it.]

“My Bad”:  1 I intentionally made that mistake but I will appease you by pretending to take responsibility for my lapse in judgement.  2 I’m sorry, but… not really.

“FAther”:  1 I am showing respect, in a sarcastic sort of way.  2  You seriously embarrass me.

“Blah, Blah, Blah”:  1 I’m done listening.  2 You should stop talking.

“Seriously”:  1 You are an idiot.  2 Act your age.  [Heard when a parent completely irks the teen by actions.  Can sometimes be combined with “FAther”. ]

“Really”:  1 Was I supposed to know that was wrong?  2 I’ve heard you say that before, I think.

“Any Hoo”:  1 I’m an idiot.  2 I’m going to change the topic.  [Another favorite that always seems to be offered at the precise moment the parent is presenting a critical teaching point.]

“I don’t know”:  1 I really do know the answer, but you’re not going to like it.  2 I have a lack of judgement. [This interpretation follow a “why did you do that?” type of question.]

Sometimes good communication with teens starts with a clear interpretation of what they are REALLY saying.  In full disclosure, most of these expressions were collected from teenagers including, but not limited to, my own teens.  

If you have others, I would love to hear them.

Ephesians 4:29  “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

- What is your plan -

“Creatures of Habit...or Not.”

I tend to be most effective if I have a “to do” List (aka action steps in a plan).  In fact, I am often completely ineffective and get nothing done if I don’t have a detailed “List”.  A “List” works for me.  Just ask my wife.  She always has a “List” ready for me.  [I may pay for that one.]

So it only stands to reason that my sons should adopt the same technique.  My keen observation of them proves that they have the capacity to embrace the concept of a “List”.  They are extreme creatures of habit:

“I can not leave for the bus before 6:10.”

“That is my seat.”

“Egg bake is for Easter and Turkey is for Thanksgiving.  We can’t eat them on any other days.”

“I always scrub my hands for 5 minutes with the scalding hot water running.”

“First the news, then I will get ready for school.”

“I always take two bottles of Gatorade to practice.”

“I have to do my devotion prior to going to bed.” [a very good one]

To be fair, teens are not the only ones that develop nonsensical habits.  I actually observed an adult ask a Pastor and his family to move prior to worship because that was “their pew.”  Really?  Your pew?  [I do go to a Lutheran church, thanks for asking]  

Ok, back to the “List” topic.  

With so much experience with conforming to a specific set of habits, transforming these teens to get organized using a “List” should be easy.  Not so fast.

A list is restrictive, too organized, prohibitive, confining, and too structured.  We often hear:

“I know what needs to be done.”

“I will do it today.”

“I will do it tomorrow.” [it never comes, trust me]

“I will remember so I don’t need to write it down.”

I am confused.  One of them always has his headlight within arm’s reach but a “List” is too structured?

One of our sons has recently embraced the “List” idea by writing all of his assignments on a calendar.  A true epiphany.  

Hope remains!

Romans 15:13  “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

- What is your plan? -

“Secret Plans are the Best!”

Having a clear view or vision of the objective is a success key when starting a project.  If you don’t know where you are going, how do you know when you get there?

If you want a cool place to hang out in the back yard with your adult friends, obviously the objective is a tree house built for adults.  It should include a fridge, HD TV, theater seats and an Adrian Peterson Fathead.  This would be so cool. [sorry, got a little distracted]

Ok.  We have a vision.  Let’s start building.  No wait.  I think I’ve forgotten something.  Let me check with my resident teen wiseman.   

Oh discerning and insightful teen, how do you get your projects done?

“I don’t have a plan but I am going to get it done.”

So you are saying I don’t need a plan to build my tree-borne mancave.  It will just happen?  Is this the way you get your school assignments done?

“No, I mean… I don’t have a plan that I can tell you.”

Oh, I get it.  Shhhh…. it’s a secret.  Secret plans are always the best.  Especially those that are so secret that they don’t actually exist.  Kind of like the plan to get your summer reading done prior to your last first day of school. [busted]

I guess my tree-borne mancave will have to wait until I can figure out how to crack the code on these secret plans.

Thankfully, we have an eternal life plan that is very clear and not a secret at all:

1 Timothy 2:3-6  “This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time.

-What is your plan?-