“Doritos are better than Cracker Jacks”

A person never plans to lose things.  It just seems to happen.  Sometimes the things you lose show up in the strangest places.

Our youngest teen recently received his learner’s permit (more about that in a future post).  He actually has something in his billfold that requires him to have it with him when he leaves the house, his learner’s permit. He is a kid that never loses anything, but he seems to be forgetting where he left his billfold more and more.  Maybe it is a billfold problem. [see previous blog on that topic]  He normally finds it quickly, in a usual place.  This was NOT the case with a set of his brother’s prescription swim goggles.

We were on vacation at the beach several years ago when our oldest teen’s prescription goggles went missing.  He would not go swimming in the ocean or the pool without his goggles.  He could not see without them.  So it was our number one priority to find them.  We looked everywhere.  

The beach bag.  Nope.  

The towels.  Nope.  

Pockets. Nope.  

The hotel room.  Nope.  

Housekeeping.  Nope.

Security.  Nope.

Lost and Found.  Nope

We searched through everything.  No luck.

One of our favorite snacks at the beach is Cool Ranch Doritos.  We would always take a couple of bags with us.  Later, during this vacation, we were back in our room and our younger teen was hungry so he grabbed the Doritos.

What did we find?  Yep, you got it.  His brother’s goggles.  How is the world did they get in there?  No one thought to look in there!

See, I told you, Doritos are better than Cracker Jacks.  You’ve never pulled prescription swim goggles out of a Cracker Jacks box.

Matthew 7:7  “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

- What is your plan? -

“Wake up Sleepy Teen”

This is a post about tactical planning.  Tactical, as defined by Merriam-Webster; “of or relating to small-scale actions serving a larger purpose.”  Precisely.  I planned deliberate, small-scale actions to serve the larger purpose of getting my teens out of bed!  

Let me set the stage.  Teenager is told the night before that he needs to be up at a reasonable time to get work done the next day.  So, there are a couple of problems here [see previous post on problem identification].  First, does a teen really know what “reasonable means”?  9:00 am is reasonable.  12:30 pm is NOT reasonable.  Second, in the teen’s mind, instruction the “night before” has no relevance to the next morning.

The answer: “Operation Nerf Ambush”

First step: Pre-position the Nerf weapons and darts in mom and dad’s room the night before.

Second step: Pre-combat checks-make sure all Nerf magazines are loaded.

Third step: Recon the hallway and remove any obstacles.  We are ready for execution.

At the appointed time, 9:01 am, sneak down the hallway and slide into his doorway.  Take a position with clear visibility of the teen and unleash a full barrage of Nerf darts while singing “Wake Up Sleepy Teen”.  He will wake up.  [sometimes his brother even gets to participate in the ambush]

The teen is a learning creature.  If doesn’t take him long to figure out that mom and dad aren’t kidding about employing “Operation Nerf Ambush”.  He decides to fire back with his Nerf bow and arrow. Time for a new tactical plan.  

The answer: “Operation Bulldozer”

First step: Warn the teen about “Operation Bulldozer”.  Don’t tell him what it is, just that it is coming if he doesn’t get out of bed at a reasonable time.

Second step: Recon the room to ensure floor is clear of clutter. [Right!  It is a teenager’s room.]

Third step: Mentally rehearse your movements.  Timing and speed of your movements are key on this operation.  Ready.

Again, at the appointed time, sneak down the hallway and slide into his room.  In a single swift motion, starting at one corner of the bed, grab the bottom sheet and start to pull.  As you pull, continue to roll everything on the bed, including the teen, into a giant burrito.  Continue rolling until this giant burrito and all its contents are resting on the floor.  He will wake up.  Additionally, he has a firm understanding what “Operation Bulldozer” is all about.

While these operations were executed on our oldest teen, the youngest is not exempt.  He has a very early wake up on school days, 5:30 am.  We usually allow him a little snooze time after the first alarm.  This leeway is quickly becoming a second and then a third call to get out of bed.

I think he better reverse this trend or I might just have another opportunity to plan and execute a “small-scale action”

Proverbs 20:13  “Do not love sleep or you will grow poor; stay awake and you will have food to spare.”

- What is your plan? -

“Parenting Instructions”

Ever wonder where parenting instructions come from?  I have.  And sometimes you find them in the strangest places.  We can all name some of the more obvious places; Parents, Grandparents, Family Members, Friends, Pastors, Cartoons, Blog Posters, Google, etc.  

Ok, maybe some of these are not so obvious or conventional.  I have to imagine that several of you parents out there have Googled “How do you punish a biter?”

Did you notice how Cartoons was listed immediately after Pastors?  Interesting.

When our oldest was four, he decided to throw a large tantrum in a very public area of a medical facility.  He lost the privilege of riding the escalator and that set him off even more.  We walked a short distance away and let him have his fit.  Tantrums from young children are not a new thing, but the parenting instruction or confirmation of our technique came from an unexpected place.  A random stranger said “Good for you for not giving in”.  What a great affirmation from a completely unexpected source.

Want another unexpected source?  How about your very own teenager?  Yep.  It really does make sense.  He is at the peak of wisdom and he is the one on the receiving end of “parenting”.  Why not listen to his parenting advice?  A couple of years ago (he is now 17), he decided to share his parenting instruction with us.

His words:

“I’m going to run a tighter ship than you do.”  [moments earlier he was not happy that we were being strict]

“I will loosen up when need be.”  [aka... so I can do what I want]

“You can spread the loosening and tightening around.”  [yep, waffling is always the best policy]

Pure gold enlightenment.  Run a tight ship, loosen up when needed, spread it around.  Got it.

As I prepared for writing today, I forwarded some notes from our iPad.  This was the actual texting conversation between my wife and me.

 

“I got parenting info from the iPad.”  

“Awesome!  If it were only that easy to parent.  Got

it from the iPad.”

Wait a minute.  Can you actually get parenting instructions from an iPad?  Is there really “an app for that”?  Yes there is.  778 apps to be more precise.  Check it out.  Search “parenting” in your apps store.

Not sure what that means about our society but it does confirm my hunch about odd places for parenting instructions.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

- What is your plan? -

“Behavior Modification”

An interesting thing has happened since I started to blog 6 weeks ago.  Our supper conversations have changed.  Let me explain.

We eat together around the supper table as often as we can.  Normally, it is only Tuesday, Saturday and Sunday evenings since our youngest teenager is a gymnast and practices the other days; CHALK UP!  [sorry about the yell]  Our supper conversations are usually entertaining as we dig into our teenagers’ lives.  We would discuss especially intriguing behaviors from our ever-wise duo.

These entertaining exchanges sometimes yield great material for a blog.  They’ve caught on.  I’m busted.  It wasn’t really that hard for them to catch on to my method since my wife would say “that would make great blog” material.  

The result was an immediate change in behavior.  Now, we both use the threat of the blog to  invoke behavior modification.  The threat of public embarrassment is a very efficient tool in behavior management for teens.  It is truly amazing.  

“Do you really want to sleep past your alarm and get the bulldozer treatment?  That would be a funny blog post.” - result: teenager is out of bed before the second snooze.

“You seem to be avoiding your writing.  Your dad might write about that in his blog.” - result: teenager completes his paper on time.

I wrote about incentives and unintended outcomes in a previous blog.  This was another great example.  I had no idea that my writing could be an effective discipline tool.  Just another club in the golf bag of parenting.

Proverbs 22:6  “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”

- What is your plan? -